Say What!!???

Right before my 16 (almost 17 week) Ultrasound, I was having major anxiety about my pregnancy. I worried that since I had gone a month longer than the last pregnancy, I was that more attached. The baby was that much more developed. I knew if something happened, it would be THAT much harder than the last time. It really consumed my thoughts. I was starting to feel like there wasn't much hope. Pretty sure I already mentioned that, but it consumes me and I can't help it; although I am trying to be better! Here in Germany, you get an ultrasound at every single doctors appointment. The doctor himself does the ultrasounds. I'm always very anxious right before because I am worried there won't be a heartbeat, but it is always so reassuring to see the baby every appointment. I wish I was as naive with this pregnancy as I was with my last. So much less stress! To make a long story short, the doc took a butt shot picture and it totally looked like a boy. I asked if it was a boy and he said, "Well, it could be a boy, but even at this stage girl parts can sometimes look like boy parts. Could be swollen girl parts and could be the cord". So with that said, we tried to take it with a grain of salt. After all, I know about 5 people here that were TOLD they were having boys (even farther along) and they ended up finding out they were having girls later on in their pregnancy. Of course I had it in the back of my head though, but surely a boy wouldn't be a possibility. We don't make boys, we make girls! I'm not even sure what I would do with a boy!

Well, my almost 20 week ultrasound came along and the first shot was again a butt shot. It for sure looked like a boy, but of course I am skeptical for many reasons. I asked the doctor what he thought it was and while laughing he said, "What do YOU think it looks like?!" After I replied "boy", he confirmed that it was a boy. I still questioned him and made him look from several angles, made him look at the blood flow of the umbilical cord to make sure that is not what he was looking at. I said, "Dr. Kaeshal, you KNOW I have 3 little girls, right? I need to know for sure this is a boy because I will be getting rid of ALL of my girl clothes!" Every time he got back to that "shot" he would laugh and say "that is NOT a girl!" or "That is not a cord!" So it's 100% sure. We are having a BOY! So crazy. It has been 2 weeks, and I am still in shock. It is hard for me to imagine having a little boy. Growing up with only sisters and having 3 girls of my own, I don't know what to do with a boy! Just to keep things clear, we would have been just as happy if it was a girl. We love girls and were not having a a 4th to try for a boy. Yes, it is a little more exciting right now because it is something new. I'm excited there will be a mini little Abe running around!





When we got home from the ultrasound, I sent out this little picture to our family members (of those that I have their phone number and can iMessage).



The next day, we told the girls we had a surprise for them. They got to open up a box filled with either pink balloons if they were getting a baby sister, or blue for a brother. Norah and Adeline kept saying, "I hope it's a baby brother!!" Originally I had pictured that I was going to take the girls all dressed cute, this box/balloons and bring them to a picturesque area. I had a vision of the girls opening up the box and the balloons floating into the sky as they were super excited. Well.... didn't really work out that way. This day was the worst day we had so far this winter. Cold, rainy, SUPER windy.... ugh. We MADE them go outside for the quick (and non picturesque) reveal in our backyard and then I took one more picture inside. At first I was sad I hadn't got super cute pictures, but I was over it fast. Who cares?!





Needless to say, the girls are thrilled. Well, Meika is indifferent because she really has no idea what is going on! But the other girls are over the moon. So are Abe and I :)

Meika Turns 2

Where did the past two years go? They seriously have flown by. It feels like yesterday that she was born and I am a little sad to see her growing up into such a big girl!

She was really cute on her birthday. She didn't really "get it", but she loved that we kept singing Happy Birthday to her. At some point in the day, she was singing it to herself almost constantly with a big grin on her face. Once we blew up a couple balloons and I started to maker her (pathetic) birthday cake, she started getting excited. She was so cute when we sang her Happy Birthday and had her blow out the candles. She sang the entire time with us, while rocking back and forth. She even did a great job at blowing out the candles right away. As soon as she did, we realized that the video wasn't actually working and made her redo the birthday song and the blowing out of the candles. She happily did it and then yelled "again!" right after.







Meika also loved opening up her presents!











Meika's birthday had just a handful of presents and was totally low key, but perfect.



There are so many things I want to remember about Meika at this age. I feel like I have been saying this Meika's entire two years of life, but she is such a little sweetheart and such a good baby... or should I say little kid now? She has such a nice, sweet temperament and hardly ever fusses or cries. She has become more of a picky little eater lately, but we are trying to nip that in the bud. Some of her favorite foods are cucumbers, noodles, yogurt and fruit. She is talking now, but seems a little slower at talking than my others (a lot slower than Norah, but she was a freak of nature!!). I feel like in a month or so, she will be a lot better at speaking. She just seems to not be as mature as my other two were at this age. Maybe it's because she is so laid back or because I baby her! She sleeps from either 7:30 or 8 until between 9-10am and also takes a two hour nap. Oh how I love what a great sleeper she is! It will be hard for me to want to transition her to a big girl bed or take away her binky while she sleeps. I don't want to ruin her sleeping habits! She wants to keep up with her sisters and is always playing and mimicking them. I am starting to play with the idea of potty training her. She is not as ready as my other two were and doesn't seem extremely interested. My goal is just in the next couple of months so she can be solid before the baby gets here! She is a little too attached to me right now and always wants me. Abe told me yesterday that we need to wean her from me a little bit! I love my little Meika!!

34

At the beginning of January Abe turned 34. I was feeling a little bit guilty because both Norah and Abe's birthdays snuck up so quickly after Christmas. I promised Abe that next year I will plan ahead and have a plan for their birthdays. Abe had to work a shift on his birthday, so was gone until pretty late. Luckily, we were able to sing to him and celebrate with a birthday cake. Abe had found a Ribs Restaurant that he wanted to go to for his birthday, so that next weekend we headed out for a Rib dinner. Then a couple weeks later, we headed out to some "outlets" (which are NOTHING like the States... they are super expensive) and we found Abe a snazzy suit. He has been getting lots of compliments at church!



I am so lucky to be married to such a good guy. He is such a hard worker and provider for our family. He is such a good dad. Sometimes I whine about bedtime because that's when I lose my patience, but Abe loves putting the girls to bed. He is always willing to watch the kids so I can get stuff done, shop, or whatever is needed. He gets on the floor with them and has pillow fights, wrestling matches and there is always a fun factor. He is always taking such good care of me. Making sure that I am taking care of myself, getting to bed, helping out around the house (folding laundry, doing dishes...) and is such a good, loving husband. Happy Birthday Abe, we love you!!

Norah's 4 Year Old Pictures

Finally got time to do a handful of pictures of Norah now that she is FOUR!! This girl is something special. She is such a sweetheart. She has such a laid back personality and is definitely a peacemaker. If there is an argument or fight going on between her and her sister, she usually gives her sister what she wants and is happy about her decision. She's always happy when she gets woken up in the morning and rarely has any breakdowns. She gives just about the best hugs you will ever receive. She can be slow and take her time (because she's always in lala land, Norah's own little world), BUT she is pretty coordinated and catches on pretty fast. People are still amazed with how well she talks and the vocabulary that she uses. She has the silliest facial expressions. I could go on and on about this girl. Everyone that comes in contact with her falls in love. I love you my sweet sweet Norah!

Norah's Birthday Swimming Video

School PIctures 2013-2014

I love how the girls school pictures turned out. They both are so adorable!

{Norah's Pre-school Picture (British Sunbeam Class)}


Adeline's 1st grade picture (IY3)

Baby #4

That's right. We are expecting baby #4 the end of June. We have been "cautiously optimistic", as Abe would say. When I found out I was pregnant, I had a lot of emotions. I was happy, excited, relieved, terrified, worried... and the list goes on. We kept it a secret because we have been so nervous about it. Nervous that we would lose this baby too. I was worried that if my kids knew and something devastating happened again, they would be crushed. I can't handle that! After I had a ultrasound at almost 16 weeks, we decided that world and our cute little girls could know.





Every appointment that I have been to has been a little bit of a roller coaster for me. I worry that I am going to see the baby on the screen and there will be no heart beat. So far, all is well. My last appointment, I asked my doctor to please show me the heart first. Before I even had time to finish, I could see the baby moving all over the place. What a great feeling. Those first 16 weeks were hard emotionally, but I was able to keep it together and wasn't SUPER anxious. I am not quite sure what happened, but that is not the case anymore. I am more anxious than I ever could have imagined. Every day for the past several days I have cried a lot. I have almost a panic/anxiety type of attack and feel like it's hopeless that this baby is going to make it. I get excited about this new baby (I'm super excited), but at times I feel like I am trying to hold myself back to protect myself from being completely hurt. I think the reason why I am having such a hard time is that this baby has survived 4 weeks longer than the last. I can't even imagine the pain I would have to endure if something happened at this point. I keep telling Abe that if I had my miscarriage before I had any kids, I probably would have had 1 kid. This is rough. I'm truly grateful that I don't want any more than 4 kids. My heart couldn't handle it!

I keep telling myself that I need to relax and not worry so much. Really, there is nothing I can do about it. It is completely out of my hands. My heart is already so invested in this final addition to our family and I am praying that there will be a great outcome. Our girls are so very excited and Norah asks me every day, "When is the baby going to get here!". Good thing we waited several months to tell them! If you ask them if they want a boy or a girl, they both say boy (but they will be happy with either!). Norah says, "I want a brother, because we already have a baby sister!" I love my girls so much.